Patience....

There is a word I've had difficulty dealing with here for quite some time. As I write this today, our baby girl will arrive in just 12 weeks. Golly that seems like a long time!! I have had so many struggles that may seem foolish to others but are very real to me. First of all, we moved to a beautiful two bedroom condo last Fall when we thought our chances of conceiving were slim to none. We had been trying and trying with no luck and decided to make a fresh start. Little did we know that only three months after we moved, surprise!! So, now we're kind of in panic mode and live in what will soon be a very beautiful, two bedroom, very cramped condo.

Second, my fear of a C-Section again. When I had Andrew, it was the most painful recovery I could have ever imagined. Granted he was a very big baby, over 9 pounds, but the thought of another surgery and trying to get back on my feet at age 40, terrifies me. I've been assured over and over that things have changed dramatically in the last 15 years since he was born, but still, you don't forget something terrible like that.

Last but not least, can i do this!!?? Can I be older and still be a good Mom? Can Michael and I raise a little girl to have a servant's heart and become a good Christian woman someday? In church a few Sunday's ago, the pastor quoted a study that showed that most kids learned their faith by watching their Mother's first and their Father's second. I so badly want to be the example my Mom was to me!! Selfless, giving, even when she had nothing but love to give, understanding, not a judgmental bone in her body, and faithful to her family and her Lord. I want to be that kind of Mom.........

I guess the song "He's Still Workin' On Me" is indeed true. Now if I just had the patience to go along with the waiting!!!